October’s Pumpkin Polls

Morton, Ill.–Frustrated by the seemingly random nature of various mainstream presidential polling, a coalition of independent voters met here today, at the self-proclaimed Pumpkin Capital of the World, to announce a new polling system. The Gord Group gathered at The Pumpkin Farm home of Morton’s annual pumpkin chunkin contest and presented their informal polling system which they feel will be more accurate than any of the current systems in place.

The group’s spokesman, Luke Wearm, announced, “We’ve tired of the obvious bias in the various polls, including Rasmussen, Gallup, NBC/Marist, CNN, and ABC.” Behind him, on large, wooden tables sat pumpkins of differing sizes and colors, intricately carved with images of Barak Obama and Mitt Romney. “When the crowds gather here in a week, we’ll offer the pumpkins to the hand tossers to chuck into the field,” Wearm added. “We’ll see how many we have left and that’ll tell us who the voters prefer.”

When asked if they would be present at other pumpkin contests, Wearm insisted, “We intend to be at each contest throughout the country. We are announcing here, in Morton, with the Libby Pumpkin Plant in the background, but we will be visible at every contest, finishing with the World Championships in Bridgeville, Delaware on November 4th and 5th.”

According to the Gord Group, they are also asking for citizens to carve pumpkins for Halloween using the Obama and Romney templates available on their website, gordgroup.org. They suggest putting the pumpkins in a very visible place and when one is destroyed by neighborhood vandals they have a link available to report the pumpkin damaged.

“We look forward to the World Championships,” Laura Norder, the Gord Group’s assistant director, said. “The day before elections will tell us exactly who the toss-up region of Virginia will vote for. However, we would love to see thousands of people at our booths at every pumpkin chunkin event.”

An Aging Actor, a Rapper, and a Porn Star…

While that might make for an interesting joke, in reality, those are three prominent people who have thrown their names into this political season by openly supporting either President Obama or Mitt Romney.

While I do believe that more people would be interested in politics or economics if said politicians met in cheap road-side motels with drugs and prostitutes present, it is interesting to see how the candidates court Hollywood and the music industry.

The list for both candidates are rather varied, and the Democrats have the distinct advantage courting Hollywood. The obvious reason Obama or Romney would elect to have the support of these folks is money. Hollywood is a cesspool of cash. The titans of the industry give maximum amounts to various PACs and party groups. The B-listers give what they can.

But there’s got to be another reason.

Why would the DNC be giving Eva Longoria time at the podium at their upcoming convention? Why let Clint Eastwood go “off script” and talk to an empty chair? It is called using the network.

Why else would Romney not publicly say, “no thank you” to super-porn star Jenna Jameson when she said this of the possibility of a Romney win?

“I’m very looking forward to a Republican being back in office,” Jameson said while sipping champagne in a VIP room at Gold Club in the city’s South of Market neighborhood. “When you’re rich, you want a Republican in office.”

English: Jenna Jameson, Culver City, CA on Mar...

English: Jenna Jameson, Culver City, CA on March 11, 2008 – Photo by Glenn Francis of http://www.PacificProDigital.com (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Okay, it doesn’t look good for a devout Mormon to have a ringing endorsement from the Queen whore of Babylon, but, her 479,810 twitter fans might also vote. And judging from recent tweets, she has a mixed tweeting of upcoming “shows” and political talk. Oddly, there seems to be more political talk. You can read for yourself here. Granted, Ms. Jameson’s choice of profession is a slap in the face of most feminists, and might just send more women into the Sandra Fluke camp. Still, you have to admit, there’s a great many in Hollywood, on both sides of the aisle, that probably feel the way that Jenna Jameson does.

Mitt Romney isn’t the only one with an interesting support group out of the media/Hollywood set. President Obama made a video cameo at a recent Jay-Z concert. This is the same Jay-Z with lyrics that might make Jenna blush (okay, I doubt it after looking up some of her “film” credits…. Convention Cuties made me chuckle). Obama has said that he has Jay-Z’s music on his iPod. I wonder if he listens to this (from “Money, Cash, Hoes” on Vol 2… Hard Knock Life):

Money cash hoes money cash chicks what
Sex murder and mayhem romance for the street
Only wife of mines is a life of crime
And since, life’s a bitch in mini-skirts and big chests
How can I not flirt with death
That’s life’s a nigga, long as life prevent us
We gonna send a lot and pray to Christ forgive us

Here’s a link to Obama’s video cameo at the Jay-Z concert courtesy of YouTube. Just a note–Jay-Z’s official Twitter page boasts 857,600+ followers that could receive a tweet on election day reminding them to go vote.

Okay, neither candidate has made strong moves here, but there are other media power brokers that back both candidates.

In the battle over Hollywood the DNC has the clear advantage. The pro-Obama camp includes such notables as: Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, Oprah, The Jonas Brothers (youth market), Tina Fey, and Anne Hathaway. The Republicans? Ted Nuggent, Chuck Norris, Kelsey Grammer, Gene Simmons, and Clint Eastwood. Nice names but not quite the same drawing power via social media.

Ultimately, it comes down the visibility of these people and the reach they have into the homes of America via their television channels (Oprah), their movies (Spielberg/Hanks/Eastwood), music, and, most of all, their access to their fans via Twitter and other social media. We’ll see what happens as we get closer to November, but I would expect to see an upswing in commercials showing A-listers propping up their candidates. Maybe another chair chat from Eastwood? We’ll have to wait to see what Eva Longoria has planned for Charlotte, but count on it being replayed ad nauseam until November 5th. It’s not like this has been a political season of the issues anyway.