The Elusive Ms. Feldman

Roman stood outside the hotel. It was always a different one each time.

The rules were simple: her’s and his. He would disconnect. For her: no phone, no contact. For him: A distant place. Clare would be put on hold for the next two hours; he would try to push her exquisite face into a delicate lockbox in his mind.

“Altmore Hotel. Four o’clock.” It was all Ms. Feldman ever said.

She’d be gone for weeks, and Roman lived his life. Then she’d call. He wondered why he came.

A breath. Resentfully, he goes to her.


Prompt from VelvetVerbosity’s 100 word challenge: “disconnect”



5 thoughts on “The Elusive Ms. Feldman

  1. This is quite interesting. I think a careful second reading might reveal a grammatical typo or two you could fix to make this stronger. Also, I want to feel more of what he feels in being torn between his two lovers – more about the way he needs to disconnect to go through with it. You do a good job of conveying that with, “he would try to push her exquisite face into a delicate lockbox in his mind.”

    Welcome to the 100 words challenge!

  2. I liked it, especially the sense of his Pavlovian helplessness that comes across. I echo VV’s comment about grammar and typos, and add one of my own: the very last line ends with a cliche that serves mostly to put an unwelcome earworm into my head. (“Toooorn between two loveeeers, feelin’ like a foooool…”) 😉 You might want to find a different way to say that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s