ACLU To Sue “Catholic 7” Before The First Basketball Drops

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New York–On behalf the NeoPaganist Little People of America (NPLPA), the ACLU has filed a class action lawsuit against the “Catholic Seven” schools, which will separate from the Big East athletic conference on June 30th. In the filing, the ACLU claims that by forming a Catholic schools basketball league the universities involved are discriminating against institutions that promote other religious, or no religious, affiliations. “The formation of this new league is a clear promotion of religion,” Desire Minter of the ACLU said. “The Catholic Church isn’t some high and mighty organization that can do as it pleases.” The filing cites emotional damage to the members of the NPLPA, and is seeking five million dollars from each college in the settlement. “How dare they exclude us just because we practice Neopaganism,” William Mullins, spokesperson for the NPLPA, said. “Religion should be a family practice, something that his closely held and universities, whether public or private, have no business promoting one specific belief.” Sarah Eaton, legal council for St. John’s University expressed amazement that this case was going forward. “We, at St. John’s, feel that despite our desire to form a conference with the six other Catholic Universities there are plenty of other opportunities for those who do not practice Catholicism to attend a great university of their choice. We are hopeful that his case gets thrown out.” Minter doesn’t share Eaton’s hopes. “Separation of church and state are essential to the right function of this nation. The Catholic Seven will have to pay for their sins.”

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